Rican

She walked in a daze because she was high as a hot air balloon. She said she was paranoid. She was smoking alone and didn’t want to be alone or drive. She was watching me. I didn't notice because this was the time I got my shit together. She thought I had it all, not knowing it took me months to furnish my apartment on a dollar and some dreams. I planned out each piece late at night on the IKEA website and searching for couch discounts, I didn’t have a proper television, but she saw something that made her feel that tinge in her chest and it heated her because I was friendless but happy. I learned how to walk alone in those years but I still needed and grasped for things that could satisfy making friends or having a family. She didn’t know a before the move that I was on the bus and that I didn’t have a car to get to and from work. She later told me that she and a friend were trying to set me up to rob me. Rob me. Damn and I just set up my apartment on a dollar and dream. I told her some my struggles with life and how I got there and I guessed it changed her mind.

I took her to meet a friend even though she pulled her eyelashes out and she had the longest hair, that she hated because men used her beauty against her to make her feel as if she wasn’t enough to be loved. She was Puerto Rican maybe but for sure black because she knew her mother but not her dad. She was misused and was the only one that was different so the brunt of her childhood was being pushed, molded, and changed into what she never wanted to be. Always looking for acceptance for those that had nothing great to say. They mess you up that way. Those that know that they don’t love themselves.

This is where it was strange and in my hast I noticed..